


First Time

by Siancore



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winterfalcon - Fandom, sambucky - Fandom
Genre: Bisexual Bucky, Bisexual Sam, M/M, sambucky fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 02:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20613410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siancore/pseuds/Siancore
Summary: The first time that Bucky Barnes admitted to himself that he liked guys the same way he liked gals was exciting, but a little nerve-wracking. What would people think? Nothing nice. What would they say? Probably mean things.





	First Time

**Author's Note:**

> Based on Anon Prompt on Tumblr: I know this isn't 1 word but can I request "First Time" for Sambucky drabble please?

The first time that Bucky Barnes admitted to himself that he liked guys the same way he liked gals was exciting, but a little nerve-wracking. He was fourteen years old and Archie O’Connor from around the way shared a soda with him. When Archie passed him the bottle and smiled at him that way, Bucky’s tummy did a hundred little flips. Just like it did that time when Katie Finnegan handed him a library book and their fingers touched a little.

Yep, Bucky liked gals, but he liked guys, too. But what would people think? _Nothing nice_. What would they say? _Probably mean things_.

So, Bucky pushed those feelings aside. When he turned fifteen, he asked if Katie wanted to get an ice cream cone with him, even though he could have just as easily asked Archie out. Well, maybe not as easily. What would people think? He reminded himself: Nothing nice.

The first time Bucky ever kissed another guy was when he was nineteen. Stanley Richards had traveled from California one summer to visit relatives. They met at the corner store and hit it off right away; he helped Bucky carry some groceries home. He had the kindest eyes Bucky had ever seen up to that point: Big and bright. They spent the summer together visiting Coney Island and listening to the wireless in Bucky’s small bedroom. When Stanley had to leave, Bucky cried and the two of them shared a soft kiss in the privacy of his room. What would people think? Two guys holding one another like that as their hearts pined. _Nothing nice_, he figured, so he pretended that the aching in his chest was not love.

The first time Bucky admitted he was in love was when he was twenty-one. Her name was Dolores McNeely and she had a cheeky grin, and the cutest dimples he ever did see. He took her out dancing most weekends. She liked the fast tunes best, and he would spin her around the dancefloor until they felt dizzy and their faces hurt from smiling. When they first made love, Bucky was sweet and gentle. He never wanted the moment to end. He told her that he’d save his dimes and buy her a brand-new ring. He couldn’t wait for her to take his last name. But the war came, and he had to leave. The first time Bucky admitted he had a broken heart was when he read Dolores’ final letter to say she was engaged to another guy. Bucky cried, and tossed the letter away. The last time he felt like that was the night that Stanley went back to California.

…..

The first time Bucky saw Sam Wilson, he was trying to kill people: Sam included. But he doesn’t do that anymore. Though the weight of the shame and guilt was still heavy on his shoulders. He still regretted the things he was forced to do. He mourned the life that was stolen away from him. He resented the things that had happened to him; things that tried to leave him as cold as the chamber he was frozen in.

Sam was the one who told him every single day that he had to let it go. That what happened was in the past and couldn’t be changed and that beating himself up about it was never going to help anyone. Least of all himself.

“Forgive yourself,” Sam told him. “Everyone else has.”

Then Sam placed his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and gave it a gentle, comforting squeeze. And that was the first time that Bucky ever had a crush on a friend.

Sam was a great friend and eventual housemate. He called Bucky dude and made him laugh. He was patient and generous with his time and energy. He would listen to Bucky and offer advice. And he had the most beautiful smile Bucky had ever seen in any decade.

The first time Bucky felt raw jealousy was when Leticia Byrnes came traipsing out of Sam’s bedroom one particularly cold Saturday morning. Sam’s USAF t-shirt was way too big on her as she waltzed into their kitchen and looked in the fridge.

“I’m makin’ breakfast,” said Bucky, trying to sound as friendly as he could. “Want some?”

She grabbed a carrot and took a bite, before shooting him a sweet smile and saying, “Maybe later.”

As she headed in the direction of Sam’s bedroom, she turned and said, “But thanks, Billy.”

She was already closing the door when he said, “My name’s Bucky.”

The second time Bucky was jealous was when Andre Stannard called by their apartment to take Sam out on a date. Andre was tall and handsome. Clean-cut and well put-together. Bucky felt self-conscious near him since his hair was getting too long, and he probably could do with a shave. He ran his fingers through his messy tresses and watched the two of them from the sofa as they complimented one another before heading out. When Andre pressed his hands to the lapels of Sam’s jacket, Bucky rolled his eyes so far back in his head he thought they’d get stuck.

“Be back later, Buck,” Sam called out. “Don’t wait up.”

Bucky plastered the best smile over his face that he could muster for Sam, and wished them a good evening. That night, he lay in his bedroom, sleep evading him, until he heard Sam come home alone. He smiled to himself that the date ended with Andre not returning, but then felt bad because he only wanted Sam to be happy.

The first time Bucky ever admitted to anyone that he liked guys as well as gals, was when Sam helped him make a Facebook page. He didn’t want to give away too much, and didn’t really know what he was doing, so he filled out the information sections quickly. Sam inspected it, his gaze lingering on Bucky’s profile picture a beat longer than was necessary.

“Dude, you accidentally checked that you’re into men _and_ women,” Sam pointed out. “Want me to go back in and change it?”

Bucky stared at the screen a moment, and then looked over at Sam. _I like guys and gals the same. Why shouldn’t I say so? But what would people think?_

Probably the same things they thought about Sam: That he is a hero; a really great guy; a good friend; a total catch; that he is kind, fair, generous, and caring; that he deserves love from whomever _he_ chooses to love.

_What would people say?_ Probably the same things they say about Sam: That the person he ends up with, regardless of their gender, had better treat him right.

“It wasn’t an accident,” said Bucky, as he glanced coyly at Sam. “I like guys _and_ gals.”

The first time Sam Wilson kissed Bucky Barnes was on an otherwise uneventful Thursday night. They were sitting on their sofa, playfully arguing about what show they wanted to stream. Sam had taken the remote control and shoved it underneath one of the cushions. Bucky turned slightly, leaned over and tried to reach for it as Sam grabbed hold of his hand. They both froze as Sam’s gaze locked onto Bucky’s.

“Wow,” said Sam. “You’re really tryin’ to distract me by getting handsy, uh?”

“No,” said Bucky, suddenly forgetting how to speak when Sam’s thumb rubbed his as they entwined their fingers.

“What’s happening here?” Sam whispered.

“I don’t know,” Bucky replied, just as quietly. “But I like it.”

“Yeah,” said Sam. “Me too.”

Sam shifted so that he was facing Bucky. He brought his hand to Bucky’s face and cupped it gently. Bucky thought his heart was going to leap from his chest as Sam leaned in closer. Their eyes closed as their lips finally met. His tummy did a hundred little flips.

The first time Bucky had ever held a guy’s hand out in public was when he and Sam were taking a slow, relaxed walk through a city park. They stopped a moment while Sam tossed some seeds to the pigeons. The sunshine caressed Sam’s beautiful face and shimmered in his dark brown eyes. Bucky lost his train of thought for a moment, stunned by just how handsome Sam was.

“You good, Buck?” he asked, noticing a faraway look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” said Bucky with a smile, as he slipped his hand into Sam’s. “Never been better.”

The first time Bucky made love to a guy was when he and Sam took their relationship to another level. It was perfect; better than he could have ever hoped for. Sam was perfect and Bucky was sweet and gentle. He kissed Sam all over his body and held him close. He loved him for the first time, just like it would be their last time.

The first time Bucky told Sam he loved him was after a particularly hard mission. Sam had been hit with shrapnel that pierced his suit. He lost a lot of blood that day. Bucky sat by his side in the sterile hospital room until he woke up.

“Hey,” said Sam tiredly as he came to.

Hey,” Bucky replied with a relieved smile.

They both went to speak at once, then laughed.

“You go,” said Sam. “I wasn’t gonna say anything important.”

“I love you, Sam Wilson,” Bucky blurted out. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

The first time Bucky had saved enough dimes to buy a brand-new ring was the week that Sam was out of town. It had only been a few days, but Bucky was missing him like crazy. He could not imagine his life without him: Kind, sweet Sam; _his_ Sam. The guy who he could just be himself around. The guy who made everything better just by being there. The guy he was completely and utterly in love with. The guy who loved him back.

He stood in front of the glass case inside of the jewelry store. The finely crafted bands sparkled under the strategically placed lights. He didn’t need to choose the most expensive of the bunch, just one that represented their love: Strong and unending. He asked to get a closer look at a plain silver band. He imagined Sam’s face lighting up as he drops to one knee and asks for his hand in marriage.

What would people think?_ That they are the luckiest couple alive._

What would people say?_ That they’re happy for them._


End file.
